Breaking News - RE: Freddo Outlives Disasterous Drop.

Fred rose from bed
And He said
“I will tread
Where no frog’s trod”.

So to it he sped
Himself he led
And he said
“Gonna climb the rod

To get street cred
So I can wed
Mandy” He said
“She’s such a mod

Her boyfriend Ned
Wants me dead
He has said
‘I’m a poor sod’

Made my eyes red
Full up I’m fed
The crap he’s said
That Mr Plod.

From A to Zed
She’s hot” Fred said
“Superbly created
Yum toady fly bod.

Her I’ve waited
So I’m fated
By wot I said
To my mate Todd

Now I dread
The dare I said
Betting my bread
I’d scale the rod

Now instead -
Feet of lead!”
“Get up” said Ed
Gave him the nod.

Up Fred sped
“Gone to my head
This height” he said
“Oh dear God

Tears please shed
Cause I dread
to fall” he said
“down on the sod”.

Brained here his head
Yet Fred’s not dead
For that he said
“Thanks be to God”.

Sal Amanda and the Horahora flood

Lurking in Uganda

A nasty Salamander

Sal lives to suck blood

Dwelling on the plains

Ventures out in the rains

Travelling by flood.

Floats up to your home

Crawls up bedlegs of chrome

Waits til in sleep you rest

Slides over your hips

Licks cruel thin lips

Bites deep into your chest.

Awaking from bad dreams

Upon your wife’s screams

Trapped in a nightmare

Thrashing all about

Trying to get out

Sal sculls your blood like beer.

Now she’s really drunk

Drained you of spunk

Your brainwaves are fading

As dear wife drags you out

For help starts to shout

Hauls you up and starts wading.

But Sal wants dessert

Another vein to hurt

Latching on wifeys throat

You and her red claret drops

Into black current hear plops

Borne by heavens tears off you float…

Protected: King of Ole

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Loon a Moth

Killed on the road she named Loon

Dressed by God a green Goth

The headlights of a hoon

Snuffed the lamp of this moth.

Her Pa loved the moon

Her Ma eating cloth

Every full Pa would swoon

His mouth it would froth.

He, Ma would lampoon

Venting her wrath

Hitting him with a spoon

Swear at her pledge of troth.

Riding in her TV moon

Dashing Dave Hasselhoff

Watching Rider reruns at noon

Stirred from her mourning sloth.

By the stereo lights last June

She dropped big Chris Noth

Hearing The Hoff’s mellow croon

Potent as love-spell broth.

Now myself you may harpoon

As indeed, so quoth

I this terrible rune

Trashing poesy as Rome a Vandel or Visigoth.

Falling in Blue

Go find a jukebox and see what a quarter will do
I don’t wanna talk I just wanna go back to blue
Feed’s me when I’m hungry and quenches my thirst
Loves me when I’m lonely and thinks of me first
Blue is the color of night
When the red sun
Disappears from the sky
Raven feathers shiny and black
A touch of blue glistening down her back
We don’t talk about heaven and we don’t talk about hell
We come to depend on one another so damn well
So go to confession whatever gets you through
You can count your blessings I’ll just count on blue
Blue is the color of night
When the red sun
Disappears from the sky
Raven feathers shiny and black
A touch of blue glistening down her back
Blue

‘Blue’ lyrics by Lucinda Williams from her album Essence

Sung by “glassandrea” below:

Zaburi

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord , O my soul!

I will praise the Lord as long as I live;

I will sing praises to God while I have my being.

Put not your trust in Princes,

In a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.

When his breath departs he returns to the earth;

On that very day his plans perish.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,

Whose hope is in the Lord his God,

Who made heaven and earth,

The sea, and all that is in them,

Who keeps faith forever;

Who executes justice for the oppressed,

Who gives food to the hungry.

The Lord sets the prisoners free;

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.

The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;

The Lord loves the righteous.

The Lord watches over the sojourners;

He upholds the widow and the fatherless,

But the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

The Lord will reign forever,

Your God, O Zion, to all generations.

Praise the Lord!

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We Are Family

 

We are family

I got all my sisters with me

We are family

Get up ev’rybody and sing

Ev’ryone can see we’re together

As we walk on by

(FLY!) and we fly just like birds of a feather

I won’t tell no lie

(ALL!) all of the people around us they say

Can they be that close

Just let me state for the record

We’re giving love in a family dose

(CHORUS x2)

Living life is fun and we’ve just begun

To get our share of the world’s delights

(HIGH!) high hopes we have for the future

And our goal’s in sight

(WE!) no we don’t get depressed

Here’s what we call our golden rule

Have faith in you and the things you do

You won’t go wrong

This is our family Jewel

The Death of Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Wanted to dance unlike Eddy

Grant me twinkle toes he prayed

God said “go with what I made”.

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Wanted to tour with Helen Reddy

Grant me a deeper voice he prayed

An ass kicked his crotch and brayed.

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Wanted to grow his hair all dready

Grant me ultra-coolness he prayed

But they unravelled and frayed.

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Wanted to ditch his teddy

Grant me manliness he prayed

But he still hugged Ted when afraid.

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Sought a girl for going steady

Grant me Freda’s heart he prayed

She said, “rather die an old maid”

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Wanted to lax at Club Medi

Grant me sultry babes he prayed

But by such hotties he was played.

Flam Glam Fast Eddy

Thought for the Beehive he was ready

Grant me higher polls he prayed

But the media him nay-sayed.

Flam Glam Fast Freddy

Wanted to get feeling heady

Grant me higher highs he prayed

But by the coppers he was made.

Foolish Graceless Fallen Freddy

Surrendered. “I give up” said he

“Life’s not about ME” he prayed

“I have nought with God to trade.”

Flunked Grubby Flawed Freddy

Wanted God, to Him fled he

Grant me life, your life, he prayed

Thankyou Jesus my debts paid.

Feeling Grateful Forgiven Freddy

Wanted just in God to ‘be’

Grant me contentment he prayed

I have all because I’m saved.

Friendly Gracious Fortunate Freddy

Wanted to help anybody

Grant me a giving spirit he prayed

Whether I be loved or betrayed.

Famously Graceful Fearless Freddy

Wanted now by those who see

Granted what he prayed

Freddy died to self, now lives remade.

Gnuviere, you’re every…

Over night scenes, dinner at mine
Saturday gnus
I’m never in love, never have the time
In my hustle and hurry world
Snorting myself to sleep, waking up lonely
I need a harem to enfold me, oh

It’s such a crazy old herd, can get us slaughtered
As we run into crocodiled streams
So we migrate all night moving by the starlight
Well we know what happiness means -
Not prancin’ in the dark with dangers!
Lions all around me, when suddenly you found me, oh

[Chorus:]
Gnu you’re ev’ry wildebeeste in the world to me
You’re my fantasy, you’re my reality
Gnu you’re ev’ry wildebeeste in the world to me
You’re everything I need
You’re everything to me, oh gnu

Everything good, everything fine
That’s what you are
So put your hoof in mine and whether
We get as far as the next Ranger’s car
We’ll conceive a life this minute we’re together
Then I’m movin’ on round the Mara forever…